I’m too short.
I’m too tall.
I’m not smart enough.
I’m so ugly.
I’m never going to get that job.
I’m not going to find a husband/wife.
Negative self-talk. We’ve all done it at some point. But persistent negative self-talk can become so ingrained of a habit that we can truly believe it. And that is a problem. Low self-esteem is linked to a negative image of oneself. If you think it, then you feel it.
Negative self-talk can originate in childhood from external sources such as a traumatic event inflicted by a parent, teacher, or fellow student. Negative self-talk can also originate from our own negative feelings about ourselves. Self-hatred is judging oneself cruelly, more cruelly than you would ever judge anyone else and will most certainly lead to anxiety and depression. This means that the actual situation we are facing may not be creating anxiety and depression, but rather the way we formulate our thoughts around the situation.
So what does this mean? This means that there is hope! To turn around those anxieties and depressions from negative self-talk one would need to do the reverse. Positive self-talk and compassion would be kinder, and possibly even more accurate than the negativities your brain was spewing. So try to talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend. You would never tell your friend, “You are not smart enough, sorry there is no way you are going to get that job you applied for.” So why would you tell yourself that?! You may tell a friend something like this, “You are just being nervous, calm down. You are smart so there is a good chance you will get that job!” See the difference? More importantly, feel the difference?